Amazing Spider-Man #85. The Kingpin & the Schemer

(Cover from June 1970.)

"THE SECRET OF THE SCHEMER!"

Written by Stan Lee
Art by John Romita, John Buscema and Jim Mooney
Lettering Sam Rosen

What happens:

Following the Schemer's escape from the Kingpin's mansion, Spider-Man catches up with him and captures him. He takes him to the address of the mystery person offering the reward for his capture - only to discover it's the Kingpin. While Spider-Man's trapped in a net of the Kingpin's devising, the two crime lords square up to each other. That's when the Schemer reveals his true identity,

He's the Kingpin's son Richard who was so horrified when he found out his father was a criminal that he set out to destroy him. The shock of this revelation sends the Kingpin into a catatonic state from which he may never recover.

Verdict:

You do have to wonder about Spider-Man's intelligence. Right from the moment he arrives at the address where the offerer of the reward's to be found, he realises there's something wrong but doesn't for one moment suspect that the person offering the reward might be the Kingpin. Well, really, who else would be most likely candidate?

You also have to wonder about the intelligence of the Schemer who recognises the building at once - and clearly doesn't want to be there - but doesn't point out to Spidey who it belongs to.

You also have to question the intelligence of the Kingpin's wife Vanessa who recognised her son in the last issue but doesn't bother telling the her husband. In her case, she has an excuse - that she's trying to protect her son - but you can't help feeling that an awful lot of hassle could've been avoided if she'd just told him the truth.

On the other hand, you can't blame the Kingpin for not guessing who the Schemer really is. He has every reason to think his son's dead and it has to be said that the Schemer with his mask on bears no resemblance whatsoever to Richard.

While some might be disappointed that it's an issue where matters aren't resolved by Spider-Man himself, with the hero a helpless bystander as events unfold before him, it serves to highlight the strength of the strip - that it's ultimately more about human drama than straight super-heroics and it's this trait that makes the title special.

On the art front, we're back to having three artists working on the strip. You wouldn't have thought it'd be that difficult to find one permanent artist for what was supposed to be Marvel's flagship title but, for several years now, it seems to have been beyond them to manage it for more than a few issues at a time. In the past, Jim Mooney's inks have helped blur the distinction between the various artists' styles but, here, the frequent gear shifts between Romita's style and Buscema's hit you in the face. It doesn't mar the enjoyment massively - after all, they can both draw comics - but it is somewhat distracting.

Peter's personal life.

Gwen and her dad come round to Peter's flat, with Captain Stacy wanting to know how Pete gets his photos of Spider-Man. The captain clearly seems to be onto him and it appears, from the conversation Gwen and her dad have when Peter's in his dark room, that her dad's suggested to her that Peter might be Spider-Man. Gwen tells the ex-cop that he's, "way off-base."

Amazing Spider-Man #84. The Kingpin & the Schemer

("Look, Spider-Man, I can do that trick where you pull away the carpet, and all the furniture stays put. Oops; that's my career in magic over before it began." Cover from May 1970.)

"The Kingpin Strikes Back!"

Written by Stan Lee
Art by John Romita, Jim Mooney and John Buscema
Lettering by Sam Rosen

Money, and how to make it fast, that's what's on Spider-Man's mind because there's a five thousand dollar reward up for the Schemer's capture. And how our hero could do with that kind of cash injection. Of course, to get the reward, he first has to find the Schemer. It's a safe bet he won't be hanging out at his old HQ, the one Spidey trashed last issue, therefore our hero's going to have to start asking questions. Swinging over New York, he spots a likely candidate, a cheap crook if ever he saw one and swings down to lean on him a bit.

Trouble is, what looks like a cheap crook is in fact a cop - and he's looking for the Schemer too. So much for that idea.

But then, Spidey has an outrageous stroke of luck. As he's passing a building, his spider-sense starts to tingle. He looks in through the window...

...and wouldn't you know it, he sees one of the Schemer's hoods. He recognises him from the fight yesterday. There are ten million stories in the naked city, and Spider-Man has a remarkable knack for bumping into just the ones he needs.

But not in this case. When he leans on the crook, the crook says he doesn't have a clue where the Schemer is. Spidey believes him, so it's back to the drawing board.

Well, as this is getting him nowhere, he changes back into his street threads and pays a visit to Gwen who's still moping about his seeming reluctance to visit her in hospital. She's also giving him the third degree about exactly what happened last issue with the truck. She's been trying to work out how he came out of it without a scratch. Now he's worried. She's getting too close to the truth. Fortunately, our hero has a brilliant plan to fall back on. He drops his cocoa, declares that he's not feeling well and leaves. Hmn, yes, that'll stop the lovely Gwendolyne from ever making any further enquiries again.

As it turns out, the Schemer's hiding in his car which is buried under a handy snow drift. Personally, I have my suspicions about a master of a criminal empire who lives in his car. Regardless, he's fed up of waiting. He hits the heater. Instantly all the snow on the vehicle melts and he drives off. As the police are after him and the Kingpin's after him and Spider-Man's after him and there's a reward for his capture, you might think he'd want to keep a low profile but his car looks like something from Thunderbirds. He finds some of the Kingpin's men, smacks them around a bit and tells them to tell their boss that his day's as the city's number one crime czar are over. From now on, the Schemer's in charge.

Spider-Man's turned up at one of the Kingpin's warehouses. He's hoping he'll be able to learn something there. He overhears the men inside talking about the Schemer's car and how it can be spotted from half a mile away.

So, Spidey goes in search of that car.

He finds it. He has a fight with it. The Schemer drives it straight into the river - with Spider-Man clinging to it. The Schemer's OK. As it turns out, his car doubles up as a submarine. And then it doubles up as a plane as it shoots up out of the water and drives off.

As for the Schemer, he's through messing about. He's arrived at the Kingpin's house and, there, confronts the overlard of crime. Kingie's wife Vanessa intervenes. She tries to get the two of them to see sense and stop this idiotic feud.

But then she looks into the Schemer's eyes and she starts to act all funny. Before her husband can find out why, Spider-Man bursts in. He's had no trouble following the tracks left by the Schemer. Kingie and Spidey start fighting.

But then the villain spots something.

Vanessa's gone.

Losing interest in his fight with the arachnid avenger, he presses a button and steps into a glass elevator hidden in a cupboard. He departs, out to destroy the Schemer for taking his wife.

All of which leaves Spider-Man no better off than he was at the start of the story. He's still not got any money, he's still not got his man - and all he has to show for his endeavours are the usual lumps, bumps and bruises.

Amazing Spider-Man #81. The Kangaroo makes his entrance

(Cover from February 1970.)

"The Coming Of The Kangaroo!"

Written by Stan Lee.
Art by John Buscema, John Romita and Jim Mooney.
Lettering by Artie Simek.

Spider-Man's all hot and bothered. He's got to get to the station to meet Aunt May who's on her way back from Florida.

As it turns out, she's not the only person of interest getting off the train. Among the departing passengers is an Australian. We know he's Australian because he's called the Kangaroo, and he's on his way to be deported.

That's what Immigration think but he bashes the officials who're accompanying him and then leaps off in the style of a kangaroo. It turns out he used to spend all his time in the outback, watching the bouncy-legged marsupials, eating what they ate, drinking what they drank, until he too could jump like them. As far as I'm aware, kangaroos drink water and eat grass; so there you have it, kids, the secret of gaining super-powers is to drink water and eat grass. It sort of makes you wonder why there aren't any super-powered cows out there.

Having gained his mighty powers, he decided to put this skill to good use by becoming a boxer. As boxing doesn't tend to involve a lot of leaping around, it seems a slightly odd career choice for a man of his talents and, as it transpired, it turned out to be a disastrous one, as he decided to win a fight by kicking an opponent in the head.

Needless to say, this went down like a cat in a dog pound and he found himself forced to flee the country. He ended up in America where he was promptly apprehended and lined up for deportation. Yeah? Well no one's deporting the Kangaroo.

Using his incredible powers of... ...jumping around a bit, the Kangaroo robs a security van but is disappointed to discover that his haul consists of just one item - a glass vial. He sticks it in his jacket pocket till he can figure out what to do with it.

What he should do with it is get rid of it sharpish, as Peter Parker discovers when he's round at Aunt May's. The teen's watching TV when an urgent announcement's broadcast. The Kangaroo's stolen a vial containing an experimental bacteria. If it's opened, a deadly plague could devastate the city. Spidey needs to find the Kangaroo - and find him now.

He finds him on a balcony, threatening people, and tries to warn him of the danger.

But the Kangaroo's not listening. He's eager for a scrap.

So now what does Spider-Man do? He's got to stop the crook but daren't lay into him in case he accidentally breaks the vial.

Back at chez Parker, Aunt May decides to give Peter his medicine. Yes, I know he's not there, he's fighting the Kangaroo but Aunt May doesn't know that. In order to get away, so he could fight the villain, Peter said he wasn't feeling well and was going to take to his sickbed. Showing his usual genius, he's left a web dummy of himself in his bed, so that if Aunt May pops her head round the door, she'll think it's him and that he's gone nowhere.

The only problem is, she's popped her whole self through the door, in order to administer the medicine and, when she pulls the sheets back, instead of seeing her nephew, she sees a man made of webbing. You can criticise Aunt May for never exactly being slow to have one of her turns but, in fairness, the sight of a loved one having been turned into a web creature would probably give most of us a turn and, needless to say that's all the excuse she needs to have one.

Spider-Man's still failing miserably to get the Kangaroo to listen, so, he grabs the villain with his legs and tips him upside down, shaking the vial loose. Then he catches it, with his webbing, as it falls. Taking advantage of the distraction, the Kangaroo leaps off but Spidey doesn't care about that. He's got the vial and that's all that matters. He hands it to the relevant individuals and then heads back home.

He gets home and finds Aunt May lying unconscious on the bed. Realising what's happened, he flings the dummy out the window and revives her. She's all right - this time - but how long, he asks, before the shadow of Spider-Man destroys them all?

Mary Jane vigil.

Number of consecutive months now without Mary Jane appearing : sixteen.

Amazing Spider-Man #80. The Chameleon

(Cover from Jan 1970.)

"On The Trail Of... The Chameleon!"

Written by Stan Lee
Art by John Buscema, John Romita and Jim Mooney
Lettering by Sam Rosen

Back at his pad, Peter Parker's still moaning about Gwen Stacy having dumped him for Flash Thompson. As every reader knows, she's not dumped him for anyone, but Peter's insistence on never actually talking to his girlfriend about anything that matters has led him to this conclusion. That's when Harry Osborn walks in.

And he's not alone.

No, he doesn't have Mary Jane with him. She's still missing in inaction. He's got Flash with him. Pete loses his rag with Flash and Flash tells him what a plonker he's being. There's nothing going on between him and the gorgeous blonde. She was just asking him for advice about Pete.

She was?

Yes.

Feeling a proper Charlie, Peter calls Gwen and, after a certain amount of frostiness, she confirms what Flash was saying.

So, now that everyone's friends again, Pete's off to the museum with his girlfriend. There, they spot her dad. Despite being retired, he's in charge of museum security. The odd thing is, that when he passes them, he doesn't seem to recognise them - and Peter's spider-sense is tingling like nobody's business.

Now there's a scream.

The museum's priceless paintings...

...they're gone!

And Captain Stacy was the only one who could have done it!

Ha ha ha ha, gloats the Chameleon, back at his apartment. It was simplicity itself for a villain of his genius to get into the museum, disguised as Captain Stacy and steal the paintings. Only a master of disguise such as himself could have pulled off the deed.

Back in his apartment, Peter Parker's suddenly thinking the same thing. He knows Captain Stacy can't be guilty, therefore it must have been an impostor. And there's no one better at being an impostor than the Chameleon. Actually, it's so long since they last met, it's a wonder Pete even remembers him.

Pete leaps into action, then swings into action, then squats into action, as he asks Bugle sub-editor Joe Robertson to plant a story in his newspaper. As it turns out, Robertson doesn't need to plant a story. He's got a real one up his sleeve that'll serve the function perfectly. It involves a meeting involving the transfer of millions of dollars. Robertson'll give it front page coverage. Peter reasons that if that doesn't attract the Chameleon's attention, nothing will.

Spider-Man sneaks into the building where the meeting's being held. Opening a panel in the ceiling, he's spotted by one of the attendees who calls out as Spidey drops down onto the table. In the confusion he's caused, he tries to work out which of those present is the Chameleon in disguise. He goes for the one who's acting most suspiciously.

He's gone for the wrong one.

And now the police burst in, accompanied by Jonah. Why he'd be there is anyone's guess but needless to say, he's more hindrance to the lawmen than asset as he inadvertently stands in the line of fire as he demands they shoot our hero.

Emerging onto the roof, Spidey needs to find the Chameleon.

He spots him, in the street below, out to make his escape. It has to be him. He's certain of it. He swings down and grabs the villain who's made the biggest mistake of his life by assuming the identity of the one person Spider-Man knows it can't be. Peter Parker.

Again the police try to shoot Spider-Man. Again Jameson gets in the way. You're starting to wonder if he does this on purpose. We've seen him do it in previous stories as well.

"Peter Parker" attempts to flee the scene by flinging a hand grenade at his potential captors. Spider-Man muffles the blast with webbing and then grabs the villain as he tries to flee in a stolen car.

Now for the big unmasking. Jameson is shocked. It's the Chameleon!

And so, as another tale comes to a happy conclusion, Spider-Man departs the scene, leaving everyone to wonder how he could possibly have known which of them was the villain of the piece. That'll just have to remain Spider-Man's secret.

Mary Jane vigil.

Number of consecutive months without Mary Jane now: fifteen.

Amazing Spider-Man #79. The Prowler

(It's Christmas, and Peter Parker's having a smashing time. Cover from December 1969.)

"To Prowl No More!"

Written by Stan Lee
Art by John Buscema and Jim Mooney
Lettering by Sam Rosen

Now the Prowler's got problems. All he meant to do was steal some money, return it in his civilian disguise and look like a hero. Now he's suddenly found himself as a murderer, having flung Bugle photographer Peter Parker through a skyscraper window.

In fact, he did nothing of the sort. In order to get away without arousing J Jonah Jameson's suspicion, out hero has flung himself from the window, acting like it was the gentle push from the Prowler that did it. There is one fairly obvious flaw in the Parker plan, which is that, in order to survive the fall, he has to use his spider powers, while out of disguise, and in full view of half of New York.

Happily for him, it turns out there's no one around at all to see him do this, not even when he lands in the middle of the street in one of the world' busiest Metropoli. Who said Peter Parker never has any luck? Well, Peter Parker said it, in every issue, ever. He was wrong.

Now he changes into Spider-Man and sets off to deal with the miscreant.

The miscreant, meanwhile, flees the Bugle offices in a panic. How did a simple window cleaner get himself into this mess?

His mess just got a whole lot bigger because, on the roof, Spider-Man intercepts him. The Prowler's armed to the teeth and has claws but simply can't lay a glove on our hero and, after an action-packed but ultimately futile fight, flees.

Back home, the memory of what he thinks he's done goes round and round in Hobie Brown's head. He needs to do something to redeem himself.

Spider-Man! He reasons that if he captures Spider-Man and brings him to justice, it'll prove to the world - and to himself - that he's not a bad guy.

He goes about trying to prove to the world that he's not a bad guy in a very strange manner, by committing a string of crimes in order to get Spider-Man's attention. He gets his attention all right and, after checking potential targets in the area, Spidey finds him in double-quick time.

This is where all logic flies out the window. As he robs a jeweller's store, Hobie's delighted that he's discovered (presumably from the Bugle) that Peter Parker's still alive, which does pose the question as to why he's still robbing places to attract Spider-Man to capture him to redeem himself for the murder of Peter Parker. Oh well, no one ever said that comics or costumed cavorters had to make complete and total sense.

The last time the pair met, the Prowler got away by firing gas at our hero. He tries it again. The only problem is Spidey's wearing a gas mask under his spider mask. With that discovery, the plan to capture Spider-Man goes right out the window and the Prowler flees.

He doesn't get very far. Spidey zaps him with his webbing and it's game over, the super-villain career of Hobie Brown comes to an end. Spider-Man unmasks him and Hobie tells him the whole sorry tale of how he became the Prowler.

And now Spidey shows that being a hero is about more than just nabbing bad guys. Sometimes, it's about letting them go. Seeing something of himself in the youth and recognising that what he needs most if he's to go straight is a second chance, he tells him to go back to his girlfriend and sort things out. If this were the 1970s' cop show The Sweeney, this would be one of those episodes where they finished the show with the sad version of the theme tune. As it happens, this is a comic book and so it has to settle for Spidey swinging off, silhouetted by the moon. It's an odd tale with a villain who doesn't really want to be a villain and who clearly never has the power to challenge Spidey but that's what makes it one of the more appealing tales of this era as it shows the strip's main strength by concentrating on the character of Hobie Brown to give us a tale of how, when we make a single wrong turning in life, things can quickly escalate beyond our control.

Mary Jane vigil.

Number of consecutive months without Mary Jane now: 14

Amazing Spider-Man #78. The Prowler

(Cover from November 1969.)

"The Night Of The Prowler!"

Written by Stan Lee
Art by John Buscema and Jim Mooney
Lettering by Sam Rosen

It's 1969 and John Romita Jr makes his first ever contribution to the strip by coming up with the idea of the Prowler but, in the world of fiction, Peter Parker's got problems.

Yes, he's still worried about his relationship with Gwen.

Not as worried as she is. She's so worried in fact that she's called in Flash Thompson for advice on how to deal with Pete. Asking Flash Thompson how to deal with Pete might seem like asking Dr Doom how to live in peace and harmony with those around you but, fair play to him. he's known Peter as long as anyone and she figures that if anyone can shed light on the boy's psyche, Flash can. That does bring to mind something that had never struck me before. That, seventy eight issues, and seven years, into the strip's run we still don't know Flash Thompson's first name. I mean, it seems unlikely that his parents (assuming that, unlike many in the Spiderverse, he actually has them) decided to christen him "Flash".

But Peter Parker has better things to worry about than Flash's name. Having seen Gwen and Thompson together in a coffee shop, he's more concerned about his motives. He walks the streets alone, pausing only to knock out a couple of would-be muggers and, along the line, looks up to envy a late-night window cleaner and the no-doubt carefree existence he must have.

Meanwhile, the window cleaner's looking down at Pete, thinking what a care-free life he must have. The window cleaner's Hobie Brown who, thankfully for us is another character in the habit of talking to himself. He feels like a loser. He has an idea for these great devices that could make window cleaning so much easier but he can't even get his boss to listen.

It turns out the window he's cleaning is that of Daily Bugle publisher J Jonah Jameson, out of hospital and back to working all hours that God sends him. He yanks open the window and chews Hobie out over how long it's taking him to do the window.

But it seems that, for once, we've misjudged Jonah. In his own charmless way he's trying to warn Hobie that his boss is on the war path about his sloth-like window cleaning. Now his boss storms in. Jameson covers for Hobie, saying it was he who held the youth up by complaining to him about the prices his boss charges. Then the boss says something vaguely racist and JJ threatens to deck him. It's scenes like this that make you love Spider-Man, where even a panto villain like Jonah can have a moral streak within him.

Hobie returns home. He's had it with window cleaning. If he can't use the devices he's invented to make money honestly, he'll do it dishonestly. He'll become a super-villain and commit a robbery. Then, as Hobie Brown, he'll "find" the abandoned loot and hand it in for the reward. He gets busy. He whips himself up a costume and now he's Hobie Brown no longer. He's the Prowler and he's ready for action.

Elsewhere, Peter's dropped in to the Bugle offices. He needs an advance from Jameson. He doesn't get it. He just gets the customary rant. Seemingly, it's only other people's employees he stands up for. As for The Prowler. He's decided that the best way to get publicity is to steal from a newspaper. There's only one problem. Just as he's stealing the Bugle's payroll, who walks in but Peter Parker.

Pete's about to tangle with him.

But now J Jonah Jameson walks in.

So, now what does our hero do? He can't let the Prowler get away but, with Jonah watching, how can he be seen holding his own against a super-villain?

Mary Jane vigil.

Number of consecutive months without Mary Jane now: 13

Amazing Spider-Man #77. The Human Torch & the Lizard

(Cover from October 1969.)

"In The Blaze Of Battle!"

Written by Stan Lee
Art by John Buscema and Jim Mooney
Lettering by Sam Rosen

I've never been a big fan of this issue. Don't get me wrong, it's perfectly entertaining and beautifully drawn and I've also always liked the somewhat fractious nature of Spider-Man and the Human Torch's relationship. They're sort of friends but seem to always end up fighting. It's just that it makes the Lizard look a bit rubbish. Normally, when he fights Spidey, he seems like one of Marvel's deadliest menaces. In this issue, he spends the whole story running away from the Torch, trying to avoid getting toasted as Spidey tries to save him. But who wants twenty pages of the Lizard running away? Not us. We want twenty pages of him threatening to destroy humanity, while bashing Spidey about.

The Torch, of course, doesn't know what's going on and why it's vital not to harm the Lizard. Spider-Man's no good at explaining things and the Torch is no good at listening to things. No wonder they're always at each other's throats. The Lizard's made it to the waterfront, declaring that, now he's here, nothing can stop him.

Spidey and the Torch are both going to make a damn good try at it.

Being able to fly, Torchy gets there first. He finds the Lizard on the deck of a ship, trying to hit the panic-stricken crew with a mast he's broken off. Why he's doing this is never explained. Presumably, he was just in the mood to let off steam. Well, the Torch is ready to let off steam too but in a whole different way. He flings a fire blast at the villain, who leaps into the water to escape it. Now the Torch lets of his steam. He boils the water. The Lizard'll be killed. Spidey jumps in to save the villain. The Torch stops boiling, in order not to kill Spidey.

Seemingly, the water stops being boiling hot instantly because Spider-Man's totally unharmed by the experience of leaping into it. It won't be the last bout of unlikely physics in this tale.

Happily, the villain didn't need saving. He was just playing possum. Not so happily, he grabs Spider-man and tries to drown him.

But Spidey breaks free and strangulates the fiend with his own collar. When he's passed out, Spider-Man returns to the surface with him. There then follows a short argument between the Torch and Spider-Man, which is ended by Spidey claiming his non-existent spider-sonic hearing's detected a distress call from the rest of the Fantastic Four.

With the Torch out of the way, Spidey can get on with the task of turning the Lizard back to Curt Connors. He takes him to a warehouse and secures him in a webbing net while he goes in search of the chemicals he needs.

Oh dear, things start to go wrong again. Curt Connors' son Tommy's spotted our hero entering the warehouse. Concerned about his father, the boy's gone inside. The Lizard wakes, spots the boy, breaks loose from the webbing and leaps at him.

Spider-Man hears his scream and rushes to the scene...

...to see the reptile stood over the fainted boy. It seems that, somewhere in the deep recesses of his brain, he remembers who the lad is. The Lizard spots Spidey and, putting the boy aside, says he's going to kill the hero.

Oh no he's not because Spider-Man throws a king-size barrel of talcum powder at him. The fool! How can mere talcum powder stop the mighty Lizard?

Well, pretty easily as it turns out. The powder dries Lizzie out and weakens him so much that he transforms back into Curt Connors. It has to be the most wonderfully illogical idea ever seen in the strip but who cares? As a solution, it has a certain charm - and it's a safe bet that, by the time of Spidey and the Lizard's next meeting, Spider-Man will have completely forgotten that he can be defeated by talcum powder and will spend several issues battling to work out a way to beat him.

Mary Jane vigil.

Number of consecutive months without Mary Jane now: 12 (It's MJ's first vanish-a-versary).

Amazing Spider-Man #76. The Lizard & the Human Torch

(Cover from September 1969.)

"The Lizard Lives!"

Written by Stan Lee
Art by John Buscema and Jim Mooney
Lettering by Sam Rosen

When people talk about John Buscema's career, they tend to acclaim his work on Thor, The Fantastic Four and The Avengers - not to mention his immense stints on Conan, omitting to mention the work he did on Marvel's flagship character. Equally, when they talk about great Spider-Man artists, they tend not to mention Buscema. Maybe it's because he drew relatively few issues of Spider-Man (although he drew more than people seem to realise) though I suspect it's just that his artwork may not have been quite quirky enough for him to have been viewed as a true Spider-Man artist.

Either way, you know, no matter what he's drawing, he's never going to let you down. And he doesn't here. Even under Jim Mooney's inks, you can spot the essential Buscema-ness of the art, even on the pages where he clearly contributed nothing more than the layouts.

As for this issue's other returning favourite, happily the Lizard's not changed his attitude one jot since his last appearance. He's still obsessed with destroying the whole human race. Maybe this is what makes the Lizard my favourite Spidey foe. Antagonists like Doc Ock, the Kingpin and Mysterio just want to line their pockets, shove people around or prove they're tougher than Spider-Man but the Lizard's ambitions are on a whole different level, even if he never does get within a million miles of achieving them.

Now all he has to do is find Spider-Man so he can be the first up against the wall come the reptile revolution.

If only he knew that he doesn't have to go looking for the hero because Spidey's already looking for him.

But first, the titular teen has to phone his Aunt May, who's still in Florida and then have a quick chat with Harry Osborn who mentions Mary Jane's love of his new moustache, despite the fact she hasn't been seen in the comic for months. It's like all those years in Coronation Street where Tracy Barlow disappeared into her bedroom for about ten years, only to reappear with a brand new head.

After the Spidey-heavy tales of the last few issues, we're getting a whole bucketload of Mr P this time round, coz now he's at Gwen Stacy's house and she's still mithering about his sudden disappearances. All trace of the live-wire that Gwen once was have gone by this stage on the strip, which is a shame. It might be a more realistic portrayal of how a super-hero's girlfriend would be in real life but it's a lot less interesting. It turns out they're not alone in the house because, elsewhere within its realms Captain Stacy and Joe Robertson are discussing Spider-Man and who he might be. They start asking Pete what he knows about Spidey. He gets all hot under the collar and the next thing you know it's tomorrow morning as he leaps out of bed upon hearing a radio bulletin of a scaly madman on the loose. Either Norman Osborn has scabies or it's the Lizard.

Yup, there he is, in the street, causing no end of chaos. As with these things, the police are nowhere in sight. It'd be great if, one of these stories, Spidey would hurry to the scene of a fracas, to deal with a villain, only to find that the police had got there first and already shot him.

In the total absence of a competent gendarmerie, Spidey enters the fray and they spend the next few pages flinging each other around, the Lizard yet again looking too tough for his opponent. Not only is he at least as strong as Spidey but, thanks to his thick hide, he can't even feel Spider-Man's strongest punches. After yet more trading of blows - from which our hero comes off worst - Lizzie smacks him in the mouth with his tail and then drops him off the roof.

Is this it?

Is our hero doomed?

Of course he's not. After 76 issues, we should have learned by now that no fall's ever likely to kill a man with webbing. What it is, however, is the ending of this issue and the start of a whole new raft of problems for its star as, halfway down, he finds himself being caught by someone.

It's the Human Torch.

And, when it comes to fighting the Lizard, he wants a piece of the action.

Mary Jane vigil.

Number of consecutive months now without Mary Jane: 11

Amazing Spider-Man #73. Man-Mountain Marko

(Cover from June 1969.)

"The Web Closes!"

Written by Stan Lee
Art by John Buscema, John Romita and Jim Mooney
Lettering by Sam Rosen

The Shocker may have been disposed of but there's still the small matter of where he hid the priceless tablet that turned out to be worthless. Spider-Man has only one lead and that's to ask Captain Stacy if, during the Shocker's raid on his home, the villain said anything that might give away where he was planning to stash his gains. Stacy says the Shocker was too clever for that.

But then he remembers something. The Shocker used to have a girlfriend who was in the habit of paying his bail. Maybe she knows where it is.

Spider-Man's on the case. Using his spider-sense to narrow down the search, he finds her apartment - only to discover someone else has found it first. It's a character called Man-Mountain Marko and he too is after the tablet. He's not the only one because it turns out he's working for the Maggia, a criminal organisation that's in no way named after any real-life criminal organisation, good grief no.

The Shocker's girlfriend says she's never seen the tablet. Marko doesn't believe her, and, to prove it, he starts to tear the place apart.

That's when our hero intervenes, smashing in through the window and joining the thug in a bout of fisticuffs. Convinced he's knocked Marko out, Spidey talks to the girl.

There's only one problem. Marko's not unconscious and, taking advantage of Spider-Man being distracted by his conversation with the girl, hits him with an armchair.

Down at the police station, something's to do. The Kingpin's bailing out his stooge Wilson.

Except it turns out it's none of the Kingpin's work. The bail's been paid by a man called Caesar Cicero, a character who's got "sinister" written through him like some sticks of rock have the word "Blackpool" through them. Unlike that holiday resort, Cicero's not the type to kiss you quick. He's with the Maggia and, from now on, so's Wilson.

Back at the flat, Marko's found something. It's a safe. Before he can open it, Spider-Man resumes their punch-up. Marko needs a distraction.

He finds one. He drops the Shocker's girlfriend out the window. Spider-Man leaps after her and saves her but, when he gets back to the flat, Marko's gone, with the tablet.

Marko takes his find back to his boss Silvermane, head of the Maggia and Wilson's new employer. But Wilson's not the only new arrival because, now that he has the tablet, Silvermane wants it translated. So far, the thing's hieroglyphics have foiled the finest linguists the world can offer. Linguists? Pshaw! Silvermane doesn't need them. He needs a chemist and he reckons he's kidnapped just the right man for the job - Dr Curt Connors.

Why do I get the feeling things are about to get scaley round here?

Amazing Spider-Man #72, The Shocker's back

(Cover from May 1969.)

"Rocked By The Shocker!"

Written by Stan Lee
Art by John Buscema, John Romita and Jim Mooney
Lettering by Sam Rosen

So, it's back to the many-chefs-make-light-work approach when it comes to the pictures, with Big John Buscema hopping on board to help out. Even at a glance, it's pretty obvious what his contribution is. Even though Buscema always claimed to have copied his layout style slavishly from Jack Kirby, his character poses are instantly recognisable as being his and no one else's.

Of course, that still leaves the question of just what Romita's and Mooney's contributions to the art are. I'm not even going to guess. I'm assuming the inking's by Mooney, which leaves the small matter of how much of the pencilling is Mooney and how much Romita. Like I say, I'm not even going there. Umpteen issues of various hands having a finger in the artistic pie have left me far too confused by it all to even speculate.

Anyway, it doesn't matter because, as you'd expect with that combination of talent, the thing looks great and, in the end, that's all that counts, as The Shocker announces his return by smashing into George Stacy's living room and zapping him with his vibro-blaster. The ex-cop out of the way, the villain turns his attention to what he came for, the priceless stone tablet. Apparently Captain Stacy has let it become common knowledge that he has the tablet, even letting the newspapers know. Frankly, you'd have expected an ex-police captain to have a bit more sense than that and you'd have expected the tablet's rightful owners - whoever they are- to have more sense than to let him keep it.

Drawn by the noise, Gwen bursts in to see the Shocker purloining the artifact. And then he's gone, leaving Stacy senior with no more than a sore head.

The captain isn't the only one with a headache because, when he tries to fence the supposedly priceless tablet, The Shocker can't get shut of it. It seems the entire criminal underworld's too scared to touch it in case Spider-Man comes for them. Oh yeah? Well The Shocker's not scared of Spider-Man.

He gets an early chance to prove it as Spidey catches up with him on a rooftop. Cue the statutory fight. As it's only halfway through the story, cue the villain's escape. But not before Spider-Man plants a tracer on him. To The Shocker it might be goodbye but to Spider-man it's no more than au revoir.

Back to day-to-day reality as, an unspecified time later, Peter Parker sees off his Aunt May. She's off to Florida, for a holiday, which is the perfect excuse for the various creators to give us a flashback to Curt Connors and his tendency to become a human reptile.

Peter Parker, meanwhile decides to get all jealous when he sees Gwen and Flash talking. Flash, increasingly grown-up since his draft into the army, isn't impressed by Pete's behaviour, Gwen isn't impressed by his behaviour and, in the end Peter isn't impressed by his behaviour. There are times when he has to accept that he really is his own worst enemy.

But not right now. Right now, that title belongs to The Shocker. Spidey catches up with him. They have another punch-up - and then we get a masterclass in why, powerful as he might be, Shocky just isn't a top class criminal. The last time they met, Spider-Man beat him by firing webbing at his thumbs. This time he does it by firing webbing at his eyes. Unable to see, and with no way of removing the webbing, The Shocker falls easy prey to just one punch from our hero.

If only all of Spider-Man's problems were so easy to solve.