Giant-Size Spider-Man #5. Man-Thing and the Lizard

(Cover from July 1975.)

"Beware The Path Of The Monster!"

Written by Gerry Conway.

Drawn by Ross Andru.

Inked by Mike Esposito/Dave Hunt (Hunt uncredited).

Letters by Arty Simek.

Colours by Petra Goldberg.

Curt Connors really is a wally. Leaving aside the fact that, in this tale, he and writer Gerry Conway both seem to have forgotten that his surname's spelt "Connors" and not "Conners", he's merrily experimenting with a gas that could turn him into the Lizard, when, surprise surprise, he knocks over its container and promptly grows an arm, a tail and more scales than a tank-full of goldfish.

Still, it's an ill wind, and at least it gives him a chance to make another bid for taking over the world.

As part of that plan, he decides to use his control of swamp creatures to control the Man-Thing.

Sadly for him, Manny's not as easily controllable as he expected and the rapacious reptile and the muck monster end up fighting, as Spider-Man does battle with alligators and snakes, before it's all sorted out by a failed businessman who does the usual necessaries with Dr Connors' antidote.

The failed businessman, gone down to the swamp to kill himself, actually feels like the least Conway part of the tale and seems to be an attempt by him to import a bit of the feel of the Man-Thing's own comic, with someone blundering into the swamp in need of salvation and finding it through an encounter with the monster and other strange beings. The truth is the move doesn't really work because, for it to do so, the story would've needed to centre around him and and his problems and back-story but, this being a Spider-Man tale, he's too much on the sidelines for that to happen, and so his subplot feels like a bolted-on extra rather than a central plank of the tale.

Interesting that, unlike the other Giant-Size Spider-Mans, this tale ties in with the continuity of the monthly titles, with Peter Parker spending time with the newly resurrected Gwen Stacy. I assume the powers-that-be felt the return of Gwen Stacy from the dead was simply too big a story to be ignored.

And that's it. I've finished again. As far as I can make out, that's every annual and special published in the appropriate time-period reviewed. As far as I can make out, the only things left are the two 1960s Spectacular Spider-Mans. As I don't have a copy of either of them and they aren't in the Essential Spider-Mans and I refuse to read comics off a screen, it looks like I'm going to have to wait till I can get my hands on copies of them before I can offer my long-awaited (by me) opinions. Given my usual levels of poverty, this could take some time but at least it gives me something to look forward to.

Amazing Spider-Man #6. The Lizard

(Cover from November 1963.)

"Face-To-Face With The Lizard!"

Words by Stan Lee.
Art by Steve Ditko.
Lettering by Artie Simek.

Scientists, will they never learn not to tamper with things that're best left to God, and God alone?

Well, not in the mighty world of Marvel Comics, they won't. And I suppose we should be glad of it or Spider-Man would have a very dull life and we'd have nothing to spend our 12 cents on each month. That's right, pilgrims, this is the issue when out favourite comic book goes monthly and, to celebrate, we get a trip to Florida.

This time out, the scientist who doesn't know to leave things to God and God alone is Dr Curt Connors who, in an attempt to grow back the arm he lost in the war, has drunk some reptile serum and promptly turned into the Lizard, scourge of the swamps and supreme photo opportunity for Peter Parker. Of course, Peter Parker has to survive this particular photo opportunity before he can get his money but what can you do?

I love this story. I love it for two reasons. One, it has the Lizard in it, who's probably my favourite Spider-Man villain. And, two, because of the dialogue.

In fact, the dialogue starts spectacularly badly, with the Lizard uttering the sort of cornball lines that monsters used to utter in the monster stories Marvel produced by the bucketful in the early 1960s. But then we switch to Peter Parker in New York and it's blatantly obvious Stan Lee's hit his stride with his characterisation of our hero, as Peter quips his way through a series of incidents before finally getting to meet his foe.

It's easy to credit Steve Ditko with a huge part of Spider-Man's early success - it is, after all, a visual medium - but I can't help feeling it was Stan Lee's voicing of our hero that was the real secret. Had there ever been a super hero before written quite liked Spider-Man? For me, that's why the strip made such a smooth transition from the Ditko era to the John Romita epoch. The style of art may have been dramatically different but Lee's dialogue stayed true to the spirit of old.

As for Florida, that's when the joking stops and our hero's in a fight for his life.

Like Dr Doom's plan last issue, the Lizard's scheme probably doesn't make any great sense. He wants to give the serum, that turned him into the Lizard, to the reptiles in the Florida swamps, to turn them into what are presumably meant to be an army of Lizard-Men. Except the formula was derived from lizards, so wouldn't it just make them more lizardy?

Happily we never get the chance to find out, as given the chance to administer the formula to all the creatures of the swamp, the Lizard, or Liz to his friends, spends all his time, boasting of how he's going to give the formula to the lizards while never actually doing it. Instead, he spends all his time, trying to squish Spider-Man. Something he very nearly manages. Happily, as is his wont, Spidey's whipped up an antidote in double-quick time and pours it down the Lizard's throat. Cue, one cured scientist and a friendship to last for life.

One friendship that's not on such firm ground is the one between Peter Parker and Liz Allan. Having been rescued from jewel thieves by him, in the museum, she's developed a crush on Spider-Man and has no time at all now for Peter Parker. As Peter Parker says, talking to no one in particular, as he does, "Only a guy with my nutty luck could end up being his own competition." You said it, tiger, but then we wouldn't want it any other way.

Amazing Spider-Man #102. Morbius & the Lizard

"VAMPIRE AT LARGE!"

(Cover from November 1971.)

Written by Roy Thomas
Drawn by Gil Kane
Inked by Frank Giacoia
Lettered by Artie Simek

What happens:
During his fight with Morbius, the Lizard's flung into an electrical device which knocks him out. As he lies unconscious, Morbius tries to drink his blood but Spider-Man stops him and the vampire flees. However, Morbius' bite has had an odd affect on the Lizard because now he has Curt Connors' mind. Spider-Man and Connors reason that Morbius' system must contain an enzyme that caused the change and that it might also be the cure for Spider-Man's condition. Armed with this knowledge, they set off after the vampire.

They catch up with him in the city and, after a fight, manage to gain a sample of Morbius' blood. But the living vampire flees, taking the hard won sample with him. Spider-Man gives chase and his quarry falls into the river where he begins to drown.

But, as Morbius sinks, Spider-Man manages to snag the vial of blood, with his webbing. Fortunately for him, the enzyme works and, within seconds of taking it, his extra arms are gone.

The Verdict:
This is billed as a double-length issue, one of a whole range published that month as Marvel looked to gain a lead on their rivals DC. The experiment was short-lived, dumped after just one month and, in retrospect, it was probably not a bad thing the policy was ditched. This does seem too slight a tale to be told over so many pages. The scene in the TV newsroom feels like pure, out-and-out padding, and the flashback scenes revealing Morbius' origin could easily have been done more succinctly.

Much as I love him, Roy Thomas really is stretching our faith in dumb luck with this issue. The fact that Morbius' blood just happens to contain the enzyme that's the only thing that can cure Spider-Man's current condition is stretching it but then Spider-Man's luck in accidentally snaring the vial - when he's trying to snare the drowning vampire - is pushing things way too far. Thomas tries to get himself off the hook by later implying Spidey was subconsciously more interested in saving the serum than in saving Morbius but it really doesn't wash. Over-all it's a disappointing end to what, last issue, had started out so promisingly.

Amazing Spider-Man #101. Morbius and the Lizard

(Who wouldn't want to read a comic with a cover like this? From October 1971.)

"A MONSTER CALLED MORBIUS!"

Written by Roy Thomas.
Drawn by Gil Kane.
Inked by Frank Giacoia.
Lettering by Artie Simek.

What happens:
Peter Parker soon realises that his only hope of curing the affliction that's given him six arms is to seek the help of Curt Connors, the scientist who grows an extra arm when he becomes the Lizard. He phones the man, who agrees to loan him the use of an isolated house he owns which has a fully equipped lab.

But, when Spider-Man gets there, he's attacked and knocked out by Michael Morbius, a living vampire who's just come ashore after killing everyone aboard the ship on which he was previously hiding. As Morbius closes in for the kill, Curt Connors walks in - and the threat posed by Morbius causes him to transform into the Lizard. When Spider-Man regains consciousness, he finds The Lizard and Morbius squaring up for a fight - with him as the prize!

The Verdict.
So Spider-man goes all Hammer Horror as he finds himself in a creepy old house with what's basically Dracula in a costume. Even Morbius' method of arriving - by ship - echoes that of Vlad himself. Still, despite that, Morbius is a distinctive creation in his own right and there is something genuinely threatening about the vampire. It's a tale that's always felt not quite like other Spider-tales, which might be down to the fact it was written by Roy Thomas and not Stan Lee; and, if you stop to think about it for even one moment, there's an inherent ludicrousness to the story as we get the tale of a six-armed man, a human reptile and a vampire all stuck together in a haunted house. Probably all it needs is a guest spot from Abbott and Costello to make it into a Universal creature feature.

Either way, never the most conventional of artists, Gil Kane's in his element with his portrayal of the scenes in and around the old house and you have to love the single-panel page where the vampire flings our helpless hero from a balcony.

Amazing Spider-Man #77. The Human Torch & the Lizard

(Cover from October 1969.)

"In The Blaze Of Battle!"

Written by Stan Lee
Art by John Buscema and Jim Mooney
Lettering by Sam Rosen

I've never been a big fan of this issue. Don't get me wrong, it's perfectly entertaining and beautifully drawn and I've also always liked the somewhat fractious nature of Spider-Man and the Human Torch's relationship. They're sort of friends but seem to always end up fighting. It's just that it makes the Lizard look a bit rubbish. Normally, when he fights Spidey, he seems like one of Marvel's deadliest menaces. In this issue, he spends the whole story running away from the Torch, trying to avoid getting toasted as Spidey tries to save him. But who wants twenty pages of the Lizard running away? Not us. We want twenty pages of him threatening to destroy humanity, while bashing Spidey about.

The Torch, of course, doesn't know what's going on and why it's vital not to harm the Lizard. Spider-Man's no good at explaining things and the Torch is no good at listening to things. No wonder they're always at each other's throats. The Lizard's made it to the waterfront, declaring that, now he's here, nothing can stop him.

Spidey and the Torch are both going to make a damn good try at it.

Being able to fly, Torchy gets there first. He finds the Lizard on the deck of a ship, trying to hit the panic-stricken crew with a mast he's broken off. Why he's doing this is never explained. Presumably, he was just in the mood to let off steam. Well, the Torch is ready to let off steam too but in a whole different way. He flings a fire blast at the villain, who leaps into the water to escape it. Now the Torch lets of his steam. He boils the water. The Lizard'll be killed. Spidey jumps in to save the villain. The Torch stops boiling, in order not to kill Spidey.

Seemingly, the water stops being boiling hot instantly because Spider-Man's totally unharmed by the experience of leaping into it. It won't be the last bout of unlikely physics in this tale.

Happily, the villain didn't need saving. He was just playing possum. Not so happily, he grabs Spider-man and tries to drown him.

But Spidey breaks free and strangulates the fiend with his own collar. When he's passed out, Spider-Man returns to the surface with him. There then follows a short argument between the Torch and Spider-Man, which is ended by Spidey claiming his non-existent spider-sonic hearing's detected a distress call from the rest of the Fantastic Four.

With the Torch out of the way, Spidey can get on with the task of turning the Lizard back to Curt Connors. He takes him to a warehouse and secures him in a webbing net while he goes in search of the chemicals he needs.

Oh dear, things start to go wrong again. Curt Connors' son Tommy's spotted our hero entering the warehouse. Concerned about his father, the boy's gone inside. The Lizard wakes, spots the boy, breaks loose from the webbing and leaps at him.

Spider-Man hears his scream and rushes to the scene...

...to see the reptile stood over the fainted boy. It seems that, somewhere in the deep recesses of his brain, he remembers who the lad is. The Lizard spots Spidey and, putting the boy aside, says he's going to kill the hero.

Oh no he's not because Spider-Man throws a king-size barrel of talcum powder at him. The fool! How can mere talcum powder stop the mighty Lizard?

Well, pretty easily as it turns out. The powder dries Lizzie out and weakens him so much that he transforms back into Curt Connors. It has to be the most wonderfully illogical idea ever seen in the strip but who cares? As a solution, it has a certain charm - and it's a safe bet that, by the time of Spidey and the Lizard's next meeting, Spider-Man will have completely forgotten that he can be defeated by talcum powder and will spend several issues battling to work out a way to beat him.

Mary Jane vigil.

Number of consecutive months without Mary Jane now: 12 (It's MJ's first vanish-a-versary).

Amazing Spider-Man #76. The Lizard & the Human Torch

(Cover from September 1969.)

"The Lizard Lives!"

Written by Stan Lee
Art by John Buscema and Jim Mooney
Lettering by Sam Rosen

When people talk about John Buscema's career, they tend to acclaim his work on Thor, The Fantastic Four and The Avengers - not to mention his immense stints on Conan, omitting to mention the work he did on Marvel's flagship character. Equally, when they talk about great Spider-Man artists, they tend not to mention Buscema. Maybe it's because he drew relatively few issues of Spider-Man (although he drew more than people seem to realise) though I suspect it's just that his artwork may not have been quite quirky enough for him to have been viewed as a true Spider-Man artist.

Either way, you know, no matter what he's drawing, he's never going to let you down. And he doesn't here. Even under Jim Mooney's inks, you can spot the essential Buscema-ness of the art, even on the pages where he clearly contributed nothing more than the layouts.

As for this issue's other returning favourite, happily the Lizard's not changed his attitude one jot since his last appearance. He's still obsessed with destroying the whole human race. Maybe this is what makes the Lizard my favourite Spidey foe. Antagonists like Doc Ock, the Kingpin and Mysterio just want to line their pockets, shove people around or prove they're tougher than Spider-Man but the Lizard's ambitions are on a whole different level, even if he never does get within a million miles of achieving them.

Now all he has to do is find Spider-Man so he can be the first up against the wall come the reptile revolution.

If only he knew that he doesn't have to go looking for the hero because Spidey's already looking for him.

But first, the titular teen has to phone his Aunt May, who's still in Florida and then have a quick chat with Harry Osborn who mentions Mary Jane's love of his new moustache, despite the fact she hasn't been seen in the comic for months. It's like all those years in Coronation Street where Tracy Barlow disappeared into her bedroom for about ten years, only to reappear with a brand new head.

After the Spidey-heavy tales of the last few issues, we're getting a whole bucketload of Mr P this time round, coz now he's at Gwen Stacy's house and she's still mithering about his sudden disappearances. All trace of the live-wire that Gwen once was have gone by this stage on the strip, which is a shame. It might be a more realistic portrayal of how a super-hero's girlfriend would be in real life but it's a lot less interesting. It turns out they're not alone in the house because, elsewhere within its realms Captain Stacy and Joe Robertson are discussing Spider-Man and who he might be. They start asking Pete what he knows about Spidey. He gets all hot under the collar and the next thing you know it's tomorrow morning as he leaps out of bed upon hearing a radio bulletin of a scaly madman on the loose. Either Norman Osborn has scabies or it's the Lizard.

Yup, there he is, in the street, causing no end of chaos. As with these things, the police are nowhere in sight. It'd be great if, one of these stories, Spidey would hurry to the scene of a fracas, to deal with a villain, only to find that the police had got there first and already shot him.

In the total absence of a competent gendarmerie, Spidey enters the fray and they spend the next few pages flinging each other around, the Lizard yet again looking too tough for his opponent. Not only is he at least as strong as Spidey but, thanks to his thick hide, he can't even feel Spider-Man's strongest punches. After yet more trading of blows - from which our hero comes off worst - Lizzie smacks him in the mouth with his tail and then drops him off the roof.

Is this it?

Is our hero doomed?

Of course he's not. After 76 issues, we should have learned by now that no fall's ever likely to kill a man with webbing. What it is, however, is the ending of this issue and the start of a whole new raft of problems for its star as, halfway down, he finds himself being caught by someone.

It's the Human Torch.

And, when it comes to fighting the Lizard, he wants a piece of the action.

Mary Jane vigil.

Number of consecutive months now without Mary Jane: 11

Amazing Spider-Man #75. Death of Silvermane

(Cover from August 1969. )

"Death Without Warning!"

Written by Stan Lee
Art by John Romita and Jim Mooney
Inks by Jim Mooney
Lettering by Artie Simek

Spidey's on the hunt for Curt Connors, so he leans on a couple of crooks and they tell him where to find the Maggia's HQ. In that HQ, Marko's having a hard time getting his head round Silvermane's sudden rejuvenation routine.

That time gets even harder when Maggia lawyer Caesar Cicero walks in and, determined to get rid of Silvermane, tells him it must all be a trick, that this man must be an impostor. An impostor, thinks Marko, yeah, that must be it and Marko and Silvermane quickly come to blows.

But it's no contest. In his current state of vigour, the Maggia boss is too much for even Marko and gazing into his eyes makes the Man-Mountain realise this is indeed the man he's been working for all this time.

And now they have company because Spider-Man smashes in through the window. He sorts out Marko in double-quick time - it's easy when you're not distracted by having to worry about the Shocker's girlfriend's safety - but, in even the few moments it took for him to do that, Silvermane's changed again. He's grown even younger still. Now he looks remarkably like Peter Parker, although Spidey never seems to notice the resemblance. It's worth mentioning here that it looks like John Romita's back to doing the strip's full pencilling, with Mooney just doing the inks. Silvermane, meanwhile, is so confident in his new-found regeneration that he's ready to take our hero on, hand-to-hand.

Curt Connors takes advantage of all this to make his escape. He has to find his wife and son.

But, maybe they'd be better off if he didn't find them - because it finally happens, the thing he's been trying to hold off for the last three issues. Suddenly, he's got two hands - and they're both covered in scales. The Lizard is back.

Spidey and Silvermane are scrapping. In truth, it's not that much of a scrap, with Silvermane only managing to land one blow on Spider-Man, a knee to the head, which doesn't hurt the human arachnid in any way, shape or form. The villain, meanwhile, is getting younger by the second.

Cicero returns, with reinforcements. While Spidey's busy dealing with them, Cicero's out to deal with Silvermane. If he kills him, he can claim the Maggia crown for himself. But, when he sees the young boy that Silvermane has now become, the Lilliputian lawyer runs off in horror.

He's not the only one horrified, because it's finally dawned on Silvermane what'll happen if he carries on regressing.

Spider-Man finishes off the minor hoods but then sees a small boy run past in Silvermane's clothing. And then, before his eyes, in a striking set of panels that once seen are never forgotten, the crime-lord dies, regressing to a baby and then into nothingness.

On his way out, Spider-Man runs into a pair of familiar faces. It's Curt's wife and son. But where's Curt?

Well, we all know where "Curt" is. He's in what appears to be a warehouse and he's boarding himself in to try and prevent himself from hurting anyone.

But it's no use, as the story ends, the last vestiges of his human intellect vanish and Curt Connors is no more.

Now there's just The Lizard.

Amazing Spider-Man #45. The Lizard

(Cover from February 1967.)

"Spidey Smashes Out!"

Written by Stan Lee
Art by John Romita
Lettering by Sam Rosen

This issue quickly establishes one thing - that Spider-Man can defeat common, everyday crooks with one hand tied behind his back. Of course, he doesn't really have his hand tied behind his back when he launches the tale by taking out a couple of small-time thugs who're in the process of hi-jacking a truck but he does have his arm in a sling. However, our hero isn't delusional. He knows full well that stopping a couple of petty crooks doesn't stand any comparison with trying to defeat the Lizard.

Meanwhile, the Lizard is out to make it even harder for Spider-Man to stop him because he breaks into his own apartment and searches for the human-to-reptile formula that will enable him to create a whole army of lizard people. There's only one thing he hasn't thought of - that you have to be a scientist to understand that formula and, in his current guise, the Lizard ain't no scientist. Still, not to worry, he can always kidnap Dr Curt Connors and force him to make the formula for him. Poor old Lizzie. He doesn't know it but his plan is doomed to failure before it's even conceived.

Someone who's determined that his own plans won't fail is Frederick Foswell who's still at The Daily Bugle (does he ever have time off?) and still determined to get to the root of how Peter Parker gets his sensational shots of Spider-Man. It has to be said that, bearing in mind how Parker gets his photos - by randomly hanging the world's cheapest looking camera from a piece of string, and setting the shutter to automatic - it's anyone's guess how he gets any photos of anything but clearly Peter Parker must have some kind of magic camera. Sadly for Foswell, his plans are delayed by J Jonah Jameson sending him off to try and get the goss on the reappearance of the Lizard.

Back at Empire State University, Pete's in his everyday guise and agonising about Gwen. He clearly doesn't seem to be able to make up his mind from issue to issue as to whether he fancies Gwen most or Mary Jane. Not that he's greedy or anything.

Never mind. There's one good way to get all thoughts of girls out of your head and that's to go fist-to-fist with a giant killer reptile. So, now he's back in his Spidey gear and looking for the homicidal herpeton wherever he can think to look. No sign of him in the sewers, so he checks out the zoo. No sign of him there. But what there is at the zoo is a lovely big poster that boasts of the world's biggest collection of reptiles which has apparently just packed its (not crocodile skin) bags to set off for Philadelphia.

Quick as a flash, Spider-Man's at the railway sidings, out to intercept the goods train for Phildelphia. Bingo. He's found it. There's the Lizard, out to release the train's cargo and use them as the first in his army of reptiles. Of course, this does beg the question of what happened to the Lizard's plan of a few pages earlier, the one that involved finding Curt Connors and forcing him to create an army of lizard men but that's clearly all forgotten now. Cue another fight. Cue another beating for our hero.

And does the Lizard finish off his mortal foe?

No.

He decides that, now he's got Spider-Man where he wants him, he can turn his back on him and start droning on about his plans for world conquest. It has to be said that this is a recurring motif in Spider-Man, right from the early days. Villain gives Spider-Man a good hiding, has the chance to finish him off and instead, goes wandering off, talking to himself. If super-villains possessed the focus to actually kill Spider-Man when they had the chance, it's doubftful May Parker's favourite nephew would have made it to the end of issue #3 alive.

Still, the Lizard thinks he knows better. Instead of finishing off Spidey himself, he's going to let his friends do it. He opens up the cargo train and releases its reptiles. Now Spidey's in trouble. How's he going to hold that lot off with only one arm? Simple. He's not going to use his arm. He's going to use a croc. He grabs one by the tail and uses the hapless beast as a whip with which to knock all the other reptiles senseless. He then sets off after his foe who's hopped aboard the now moving train.

So, again they're fighting and, again, Spider-Man's not got a hope of winning.

But then there's hope.

Why? Because he's realised just what this cargo train must possess. Quickly, he finds the car he needs and leaps into it. The Lizard follows him and they start to fight. But there's something wrong, the Lizard's getting sluggish. A swing of his tail, meant to batter Spider-Man, misses its mark. And now, for seemingly no reason, the Lizard goes out like the proverbial light.

At last we get our explanation. This isn't just any train carriage. This is a refrigerated carriage. Being a cold-blooded reptile, the Lizard can't function in the absence of warmth, and Spider-Man has again won the day.

Concerned for the Lizard's well being, he wraps the literally out-cold villain in webbing, to keep him warm. It should be pointed out here that wrapping a cold-blooded being in insulation would, surely, keep him cold but never mind. Clearly, science student Peter Parker really has been falling behind in his studies. Regardless, Spidey takes the Lizard back to Curt Connors' apartment, administers the Dr's formula and, hey presto, the good doctor's back with us, and the Lizard is again nothing more than a bad memory.

So, that's it, a happy ending. Except this is Spider-Man, not Superman and so, once he's back home, Peter Parker's agonising about his life. This final page is actually the weakest part of the story because, while there's usually a good reason for Peter to be agonising about the state of his life, this fit of self-pity seems to appear from nowhere, sparked off by nothing in particular and gives the impression of just having been tacked on by Lee/Romita for the sake of it. It's like the formula demands that each issue ends with Peter Parker feeling fed up and therefore this issue has to end with Peter Parker being fed up.

There's also a slightly odd incident in the scene before this one, where, on the way home from his triumph, Pete bumps into Harry Osborn and Mary Jane. They offer him a lift but he turns the offer down. As Harry and MJ drive off, Peter decides that he really doesn't like Mary Jane at all, opining that she's as, "pretty as a pumpkin seed but just about as shallow." He then labels her, "icky."

You get the feeling that, having introduced MJ, Lee and Romita aren't really sure what to do with her. She seemed to have been introduced as a new girlfriend for Peter but, within a couple of issues, she was turned instead into a love rival for Gwen Stacy and now, just one issue later, Peter seems to have gone off her completely. This lack of a clearly defined purpose for such a strong character in fact dragged on for years and it's surprising, knowing what was to come in future decades, just how quickly MJ became a peripheral figure.

Amazing Spider-Man #44. The Lizard's back

(Cover from January 1967.)

"Where Crawls The Lizard!"

Written by Stan Lee.
Drawn and inked by John Romita.
Lettered by Sam Rosen.

In a refreshing development for all concerned (including, you suspect, the readers) Peter Parker finally gets a break from Aunt May. When we join him at the start of this tale, he's at the railway station, about to see her off. Somehow he's managed to scrape together the thirty dollars needed to send her off on vacation and at last he'll have a respite from her constant near-death experiences.

Sadly, Peter Parker's the only one who is anticipating respite because he isn't the only member of our colourful cast at the station. One-armed scientist Curt Connors is there too, to greet his wife and son who're due in from Florida anytime soon. Quite why he's living in New York and his wife and child are resident in Florida is something that's never gone into but, right now, Curt Connors has better things to worry about - because, as he waits, his remaining hand is turning green. Regular readers of the strip - especially ones with very long memories - will know this isn't because he has a penchant for wearing cheap jewellery but because of his penchant for becoming a man-sized, megalomaniac reptile.

For a few moments, his hand returns to normal but, as his family arrive, he begins to transform again. This time, there's no holding it off and, fearing for the safety of his loved ones, Connors flees into a nearby tunnel. Within seconds, he's the Lizard again and already planning his conquest of the Earth.

But, of course, he's a super-villain and, when you're a super-villain, somehow, things never go the way you want them to. Having seen his Aunt May off, Pete's spotted Mrs Connors and realised something's the matter. Quick as a flash, he's in his Spider-Man gear and asking her what's happened. Curt was supposed to meet her at the station but took one look at her and his son and fled. It doesn't take a Sherlock Holmes to know what must be going on and so Spider-Man sets off to find him. He doesn't find his quarry but he does find a hole that's been smashed into a tunnel wall. There's no doubt about it. The Lizard is back.

Why the Lizard was away for nearly three years is anyone's guess. Right from the start, he was clearly one of the classic Spider-Man villains and, in retrospect, his long absence after just one appearance seems as perverse as it is baffling. Still, he's back now and determined to make up for it by populating the world with giant lizards. Oh yes, and by wiping out the entire human race.

Spider-Man has other problems too. Back at The Daily Bugle, Fred Foswell's getting suspicious about how Peter Parker manages to get all those snaps of Spider-Man where all others fail.

Back at The Silver Spoon, the gang are getting a shock to the system, as the non-stop adrenalin rush that is Mary Jane Watson is introduced to them for the first time. In a scene beautifully composed by John Romita, Flash Thompson can't believe Puny Parker's managed to pull a doll like that, Harry Osborn can't believe Pete's been keeping her a secret from them and Gwen Stacy is showing every sign in the book of being jealous of the attention that Mary Jane's getting.

Meanwhile, mischief's afoot as the Lizard decides to frame Spider-Man. He breaks into a jeweller's and robs it, making sure to be seen fleeing the scene by climbing the side of a skyscraper in a way that the whole world knows that only our hero can. Admittedly, the whole world seems to have forgotten that Spider-Man doesn't have a tail and doesn't run around in a lab coat but, hey, it's dark and they reckon that if you can remember the 1960s, you weren't there. Surely however, you weren't supposed to be forgetting the 1960s even as they were happening around you.

Again in his Spider-Man guise, our hero sets out to nab the Lizard, and finds him with startling ease, just hanging around in a back alley, in a very odd pose. They have a fight, which can hardly be said to be going Spider-Man's way but at least a large crowd see the Lizard climbing a wall, just like Spider-Man, and realise that it may have been he, not our hero, who robbed the jewellers.

But now, things go wrong again. His webbing cut by the Lizard's tail, Spider-Man lands on his arm. A handily placed doctor rushes to his side, declares he's badly sprained it and proceeds to wrap it in more banadages than it took to bury Tutankhamen.

This phase of the battle over, the wall-crawler goes to report his progress to Mrs Connors. This is where he does one of those things that only seems to happen in the world of Stan Lee because, just as in the early days of The Fantastic Four, when Reed Richards would erroneously declare that they couldn't arrest the defeated Dr Doom because trying to take over the world isn't a crime, Spider-Man tells her that it may not be too late to help her husband because, as yet he's committed no crimes. Well, no crimes, presumably, apart from robbing a jewellery store, vandalising a tunnel, plotting the destruction of the human race, trying to pervert the course of justice, causing a public nuisance and trying repeatedly to kill Spider-Man.

Back home and back in civvies, Peter gets a call from Aunt May and, miracle of miracles, she's managed to get through a whole issue without once being at death's door. Then he gets another call. It's from Mary Jane Watson. She's going to be dancing tonight, at some sort of dance school thing and, lucky boy, she can get him a ticket. Not that she's in love with herself or anything.

He'd love to go of course but how can he? With his arm in a sling, it'll be too obvous that he must be Spider-Man.

Now what can he do? He's blown it with Mary Jane, he doesn't know where the Lizard is and, with his arm bandaged, he can't set foot in public for fear of revealing his secret identity.

And so, yet another issue ends with that metaphorical ball being swiped out from under him just as he's about to kick it. Poor old Charlie Brown. Erm, I mean, Peter Parker.